Illustrated Bible Stories (that they won't tell you in Sunday School)
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Stories from the book

More Stories

Bald Men Are People Too

How not to make a pact with God

Foreskins can save your life!

Apparently two wrongs can make a right

The Evils of Arithmetic

God gets all muddled up

God gets his little virgin girls

What to do when God makes you really, really hungry

Angels gone wild

Wife swapping biblical style

How to perform exorcisms on livestock

About the purpose of the book and web site

The purpose of the book Illustrated Stories from the Bible (that they won't tell you in Sunday School) was originally to present the other side of the god of the Bible, the one that gets left out of all other Bible story books.

If one chooses to read these stories superficially in the Bible, they can be dismissed as disquieting oddities. However, if one takes the time to think about these events in any depth and detail they become very problematic, or, at least, they should. They present a formidable difficulty for anyone who holds the belief that Yahweh is a wholly benevolent, loving being, or for that matter even praiseworthy.

The book is not against religious beliefs in general, or against people of faith. Religious people have been responsible for great moral and scientific advancement throughout history. Of course, they've also been responsible for terrible atrocities, such as the witch trials, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the many Jewish pogroms. The intent, instead, is to question certain religious dogma such as the view that everything in the Bible is literal history, or that the words of the Bible are given by divine inspiration, or that the biblical character of Yahweh is perfectly good.

These stories reveal an anthropomorphized deity that naturally reflects the same characteristics as human beings, including the less inspiring ones, like jealousy, anger, revenge, violent retribution, etc. The deity described in the Bible has far more in common with the primitive people who told stories about him than with a supposedly perfectly being. It reflects the beliefs of an ancient itinerant tribe instead of the understanding one would expect from an omniscient being. For example, when the Hebrew story-tellers wrote that gay people should be put to death, it is more likely a reflection of their ignorance, than the decree of a perfectly good being.

This website was created in a continuing effort to bring more stories that tell the other side of the issue It's also admittedly a promotional vehicle for the book. It is hoped that the stories in the book and on the website would be thought of as a set. The argument is not complete without both sets of stories. 

 

About the stories

Great care has been taken to ensure that all of the stories are faithfully rendered according to the text of the Bible. However, unfortunately for us all, many stories in the Bible are told in a laconic manner, lacking detail and often void of dialogue. Therefore, many of the gaps had to be filled in creatively from plausible inference. Some of the dialogue and narration is admittedly added to make a point, and sometimes the points are made with a degree of sarcasm. However, any creative narration is peripheral to the stories and in no way detracts from a faithful retelling of the essential elements. The stories are accurate.

 

About the commentaries

The commentaries are a necessary addition for a few reasons. First of all, if there were no commentaries, it would be too easy for critics to say that the stories are misleading. Therefore, direct quotes from the Bible are used to demonstrate that this is not the case. Second, because the stories can be difficult for most believers to deal with, leaders in the Christian community, sometimes called apologists, have come up with ways of 'explaining' them. The term 'apologist' does not mean they're saying they're sorry for been Christians. It comes from the Greek word apologia, which means defense. The most common explanations (or defenses) are presented and rebutted in the commentaries, ultimately leaving the reader to make up his or her own mind. And lastly, the commentaries provide a way of bringing in extra-Biblical sources and ideas that provide context to the stories.

 

About the Author

Paul Farrell is an independent researcher who has been studying the Bible during his years as a born-again believer and for many years since becoming a confirmed agnostic. He is scrupulous in his treatments of each subject, and many of the commentaries represent the most full discussion of these stories available. When Paul says he is an agnostic, he means that he would not presume to know if there is a supreme being or not. The only thing he is certain of is that, if a supreme being exists, it would not exhibit the characteristics imagined by these ancient story tellers.

Paul has a Bachelors degree in Political Science and a Masters degree in Public Administration. He works in the health care industry in British Columbia, Canada.

About the Bible versions

Quotes on the site are from the New International Version unless otherwise stated. On some occasions others are used where it is thought the wording provides more clarity. Whenever this is done, the version used is stated after the quote.

 

 

 

 

These stories are not in the book but have been made available for free. If you enjoy these stories, please support the author by telling others about the website and  the book.

 

Sample from the book:

The Evils of Arithmetic

 

Free stories on this website:

1. Human Sacrifice Ends Angry God's Famine

 

2. Curb Your Enthusiasm

 

3 Stoned Out of His Mind

 

4. The Sad Case of Mary Magdalene's Amnesia

 

5. If You Don't Stop it You'll Go Blind...and God Will Kill You

 

6. Dawn of the Dead Saints

 

7. A Lot of Naughty Stuff

 

8.  What Have You Done For Me Lately?

 

9. Journey to the centre of the earth...with Jesus

 

10. Noah Falls Off The Wagon

 

11. God the Father, God the Son, God the Serpent

 

12. How to Teach Your Children not to Complain

 

13. Genetic Engineering For Dummies

 

14. The Original Wrestlemania

 

15. How to win a debate with Satan.

 

16. On Fire for the Lord